Becoming American: Fong Lou

Fong Lou 是我的好朋友. 有姐姐和妹妹在美国。她从1987住在美国。先在旧金山，然后在芝加哥。她的父母死了。他姐姐有三个男孩子也有一个女孩子。她妹妹也有三个男孩子也有一个女孩子。她有一个女孩子。她有一个女儿。她跟女儿的家在芝加哥生活。她的女儿有两个孩子。她常常照顾他们。他们都是好孩子。她住在我家的公寓楼，在三楼。

Every time I knock on my third floor neighbor’s door, sometimes to ask for the rent, sometimes to offer some homemade treats, I always indulge upon the heavy smell of incenses that seem to pervade her floor. Having not known too much about my neighbor, except for her Chinese-American nationality, and the occasional bump-ins, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from this interview. My most distinctive memories of her consisted of her monthly rituals of burning myriads of golden paper and imitation money (in one occurrence a whole garbage can melted after she disposed the burned paper). Occasionally my grandma also does so, thus I considered it an interesting parallel between these two elderly women. And thus, for the purpose of this project and my own curiosity, I find myself at her doorstep.

Just as every time, I wait a little for the sounds of raucous from her two youthful grandchildren and roar of the television to settle down, and promptly she opens the door. In that sort of grandmotherly look or maybe better yet Chinese courtesy, she offers a warm smile and warm greeting into her home. Having previously taken some very short-lived however fruitful lessons of Mandarin from her, she’s always curious as to my progression. I’m hoping in a year or two I can hold a casual conversation with her. Onwards to the interview, I asked her the fundamental questions of her migration. Born and brought up in Canton, ChinaCambodia and finally to the United States. As a young girl of eight, Fong recalled the conditions of living in her home country. "Before in China my family is poor. You know, the war. My grandpa, my grandma- passed away too. My great grandpa is old and I must to help my grandpa." Fong took the task of caring for her great grandfather, while also providing for herself. This included cooking, cleaning, and other motherly chores. "I must go help working in the house too. I helped with cooking -- just nine years old! To cooking, to picking up the water. We don't have the water like the sink here. We go pick up the water." Her schedule was very busy, in which there was no free time at home. "Get up early, six o'clock. Go water, come to the home. Then after finish I cooking and finish eating and go to school and go shopping too. Go buy food, and cook food." Also during this time, the word "toy" seemed like a distant item to her. At this age, the adorable dolls and action figures that are commonly indulged upon by typical nine year olds were substituted with playing outside. before migrating to

In addition to these tasks, Fong also kept motivated in receiving an education. She dwelled upon the importance and magnitude of school during her childhood as well as the joy it brought to her. "I love to school,” she said, conveying a clear smile." When I go to school, we have a lot of friends and my classmates-- seventy-three people. They study very good, we never fighting together. The little student and the big students - never. And my teachers in China, they very nice teachers." She exclaimed excitedly, remembering the friends, classmates, and teachers she cherished and interacted with during her childhood. "And I remember my teachers too. I have three teacher's, two men and one woman. Woman teach dancing and men for the math and English." She also stated that her teachers taught lessons in the aspects of life and living while also lecturing upon the subjects and curriculum to be learnt. "Teacher only teach you to go to school, but in China, they different. The teacher they teach you everything." Fong also shared how forty-five years later, when visiting China she was able to actually meet one of her former mentors. "I go to China and find my teacher. I go find my teacher, three missing, find one. He surprised! I very happy. Long, long time, I never see you! Now you come see me!"

Fong also talked greatly of the experience she gained from her great grandfather while they lived together. "He teaching, eating together and he tell me to do this thing, this thing, and this thing. Then I was to do. But my family, my grandpa is very strong man. He be the top -- more than the teacher too." Her great grandfather was employed in the navy as well as a governor, showing a portrait she kept of him. As she said this, she expressed a strong admiration for her great grandfather, relating to the lessons she learned from him. Fong also shared an anecdote during this time, where her grandfather journey into the mountains of Canton and pick various herbs, for two to three weeks at a time, leaving her alone at home to provide for herself. "Only nine years old, ten years old I cook by myself," she said proudly. When first migrating to Cambodia, at the age fourteen, Fong talked about the emotional pains of leaving behind the friends, teachers, and family in her home country.

"Fourteen, I moving, I have a lot of friends. They don't want me to leave. My teacher too, don't want me to leave because I school and the teacher love me and my friends love me too. You know, and I the favorite student and they love me too. They don't want me to leave. They tell me it's a very hard time in Cambodia. I don't understand, I say no, no. It's easy. I will come back. And my teacher say, no it's not easy. It's true--not easy." After leaving for Cambodia, Fong would never be able to return to China until she was twenty-eight years old, even though the flight between each country was only two hours. Fong's main motivation for leaving China was the fact that her father lived in Cambodia. Through a tedious process, her father purchased her a passport, ranging to almost ten-thousand American dollars and from then on, Fong left her home country, with gut wrenching feeling. She described the conditions of migration to Cambodia as being acceptable, where she rode a ship from China to Hong Kong, and then flew from Hong Kong to Vietnam and finally Cambodia, but the feelings of loneliness and despair accompanied her. "I never stay with my father before. I don't know my father. I crying too. And my father ask me, why do you cry? I say I know, but I missing my friends, my school. I cry many, many times."

Fong's life in Cambodia stood very similar as in China, as conditions were the same. She pondered slightly over her life in Cambodia, and then found that it passed rather uneventfully. With a picture, Fong pointed out her home where she lived across the street from the New Market in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Upon leaving for America at the age of twenty-eight, Fong more vividly recalled the process. "We don't have anything come here. But we come here, I was thirty-eight. Now you see, I'm sixty-four. More than twenty years now, twenty-seven, twenty-eight now." Fong, being married with two children, first traveled back to Hong Kong in hopes of returning to Canton, but found that the roads were blocked and that her family could not enter. In a frenzy, they returned to Cambodia and Thailand. After staying in a refugee camp for two months, they took a leave with other refugee's to America. "Airplane only one day to San Francisco. Stay one day in the hotel, then come here," she said, before talking of the possession she took over to America. "Just little things" were taken with her family. Fong suddenly then remembers how her sponsors in America, when picking them up at the airport, questioned them on the surprisingly low amount of luggage they carried. "They ask, why? Where's your stuff? They say, you four people, only two clothes, two clothes?" The process of migration was straightforward and without problem. "I was lucky, we don't have problems," she chuckled. In general, "Not hard, but okay. Better than my country," she said, recollecting her memories of the experience. "I live in any country, no problem. Because when I in China and Cambodia, it okay too. And then Cambodia to the America, it okay too. They say I not happy. I happy. "

On October 1st, 1997, at the age of thirty-eight, Fong and her family stood unsure of where to proceed, unable to speak English and unaccustomed to their new home. Fong relates a story of where English was offered to her in Cambodia but was unable to learn due to a shortage of time. "Cambodia, I worked a job, fourteen, fifteen, or sixteen. My upstairs become my business, my business downstairs. Upstairs they have a English ( ). His wife is American woman. They marry in China people. And they have a school, and upstairs. And I go to school one year, two year. One month they pay two-hundred, same American money."

Upon arriving, Fong's family was unsure of what to expect in this new land. "We don't know anything. We don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Just follow the people. They say over here, and over here." After living with a sponsor for a week, and then finding a house, the family began settling down, although afraid of the hard times ahead and the language barriers. "First time come here, so lonely too because my family not here and my husband not living here. I just my kid to here you know. I not happy, but what are you to do?" In these times, Fong resolved to just go with life regardless of the difficulties of being separated from family, thankful for a home to live in.

In regards to the new culture, she at first found herself unsure. Primarily, she finds American culture to lenient with spending money and also sees that America offers a less busy life than in China. “And the people you know, just ten years old they working. They working and going to school. But here the people here, just school. They don’t’ have a school and part time job. In China they working too.” Even in regards to cuisine, she finds the dishes from home as best. “First time, one year, I can eat American food. The pizza, the kids love it but I can’t eat it.” What was most different was how paying for rent in America varied from not having to pay in China. "In China, you just pay the food, we own the house and we don't pay the bill and we don't have the electricity. We just have the light that you put in the oil, just only a little bit, we don't' get nothing." Fong also recalls how children at young age are already dating and having a boy friend or girl friend. "When I school six year, my friends too, we never have a boy friend or girl friend. Never. After you work, then finish school, after twenty, then you date. It's very difficult too." In regards to marriage outside of the Chinese-American community, particular even with her kids, she finds herself taking a broad perspective. “You have bad and good people both Chinese or white or black. I just want them to be happy.”

Overall, her identity as being Chinese is only through origin of birth. For her, identity manifests itself in human kindness and kinship. It seems that here near the streets of Argyle, she has found home as how she’s always found it in other countries. Even with the topic of discrimination, she states that she’s never had any problems and that the identity as an American gives her no trouble. To these thoughts of identity, she answers by living a life of simplicity, raising her children and grandchildren without even bothering these questions.

Critical Thinking Questions
I think in this current day, it would be easier for immigrants to create their own identity. It seems as if many already have relatives or rather people from the same areas already in America, thus it there would already be support for people to settle down. Immigrants are now actually viewed as being dignified and can create their own businesses and own community. In regards to the American identity, I would define it as being someone who lives within American culture and world. Although, the person doesn't need to compromise his/her own roots as a means of being American. Overall, I learned a great deal about my neighbor and that probably many people stories just as interesting. In a sense, it has also given me a better sense of what America has to offer and how it differs from other countries. I also find myself looking at the broader picture of life, and like Fong Lou, striving for happiness. In comparison of the immigration of my family from Cambodia, I can see that both families regarded American as a land of opportunity. Although both had their hard times getting over to America, and constantly refer to the typical you need to "work hard and study hard" mentality as a means of wealth, family and then happiness are the only important priorities in life.